The art of communication

Don't know what to call a person: “you” or “you”? Imagine what will happen in either case. And decide what you like more.

New friends
If you quickly switch to “you” with neighbors, girlfriends of friends, fellow travelers, it greatly develops social activity and sociability, gives a lot of emotional benefits and practical benefits. Yesterday, I still didn’t know the person, and today we recognized not only him, but also the phone number of the best cosmetologist in the city. The family may show dissatisfaction with the tendency to call everyone "you". The quick rapprochement of a loved one with strangers subconsciously
scares his loved ones.
“You” gives you the opportunity to control dating and their further development. It is not necessary to stop and talk at a meeting, sit down at one table in a cafe. "You" significantly saves time, effort, allows you to maintain the integrity of the boundaries of communication. When a neighbor leaves, she won’t leave a cat for you, and she won’t go in for salt again. But you are unlikely to go to her. So with cats, salt, any other urgent help, people seeking to communicate on "you" will always have problems.
Subordinates
The mutual “you” is very democratic. The feeling of a truly one team. The level of trust within the group will be high enough to learn about the plans of each in time.And if someone decided to change their job, this would not be an unpleasant surprise for colleagues. In general, the situation is very comfortable - if everything goes according to plan. But in an emergency situation you have to work alone. People with whom you have such a good relationship can only be asked, not forced.
The appeal of “you” in the peer team suggests that great importance is attached to subordination. And this simplifies a lot for both the manager and subordinates: the attitude to the assignments, rights and obligations is unambiguous. You do not have to persuade, you can just say: "This is such work by such a deadline." It gives a feeling of peace and confidence. An alarm occurs when you suddenly go to the employees, and they fall silent ...
Husband's parents
“You” suggests that you will have to call them “mom” and “dad” or by name. And that you are not two different families, but one big one. It follows that the “mother”, for example, will easily go into your room with your husband without knocking, and the “father” will buy vacation packages for everyone. I do not like? Want to be left alone? Will not work. The degree of proximity will not allow. Even quarrels will be related. With angry words, tears, remorse, forgiveness and again tears.
"You" makes it possible to call by first name and patronymic and not become one. Even living together, people feel this invisible line. Which can cause quiet discontent and provoke the behavior inherent to residents of communal apartments, but does not allow to confront openly. There is less interaction on domestic issues.But the formalities will have to be observed more strictly: congratulations on time, call regularly. This is where the feeling of kinship rests when the relationship is on "you."
The article was published on the materials of the magazine "Good advice" 7/2014
Text: Ekaterina Yuryeva. Photo: PR
Material prepared by Julia Dekanova